PHP SysInfo AND English report

Just remembered I had this. Click the link above.

Here is my speech:
Good afternoon. As most of you know, my name is Chris Engelhart. I will be speaking to you today about how to make various knots. I picked this topic because I could not think of anything else that I was good at and that is easy to demonstrate. Knots are very useful in many different situations. There are some activities that may involve a lot of knot tying, such as camping and sailing. There are multiple methods of making most knots. I will show you the ways I know best. All of the knots that I will show you today have a specific purpose.
I will start off with the square knot, which is probably one of the most useful knots ever. Its primary purpose is to tie two similar pieces of rope together. [DEMO/] You put the right over left and then go around. Then you put the left over the right and around. Then you pull it tight from all sides, and its done. [/DEMO] As you can see it is strong and usually won't come out until you try to untie it. It is very easy to untie. [DEMO] If you mess up (by doing the second part backwards, like this [DEMO]), you will end up with this, known as a granny knot. This can be used in place of a square knot but is much less secure because it can be fall apart much more easily. It is also harder to untie than a square knot. Another mistake that one can make is called the thief’s knot. [DEMO] Putting the running ends on opposite sides of the square knots is what causes this. It falls apart with the slightest tension, like so [DEMO]. The square knot is one of the best general-purpose ways to tie two similar ropes together.
Another common useful knot is the bowline. It creates a loop with a constant size. Some people call it the “bunny knot” because of the following method of remembering it. [DEMO] Although the bowline is more complex than the square knot, it is not hard to remember.
Now I will show you how to make a sheep shank, which is useful when shortening rope or bypassing a weak point. Cutting out a portion of the rope and then tying the two ends together is not a good idea because it weakens the rope. Another advantage the sheep shank has is that it can be done on a rope without disrupting the connections of the rope on its two ends. [DEMO/] You take the section of rope you want to shorten or bypass. You make a big loop with that. Then you make two smaller loops on either side. The direction that the over and under parts of each loop has to be the same. In my demonstration, the right side of each will go over the left side. Then you take the left side of the middle and pull it over and through the left loop. At the same time you should take the right side of the middle and pull it under and through the right loop. Then pull them both through and pull on both of them. Then pull it tight. [/DEMO] There should be three pieces of rope going through two loops like this. If there is a weak point, it is reinforced by the other two sections. To untie, you just do this. [DEMO] The sheep shank's biggest weakness is that it often requires tension to stay knotted.
The sheet bend is useful in tying a rope onto another rope in the shape of a loop. [DEMO/] First, pull the rope end up through the loop. Then wrap it under the loop, and pull it back over the loop, but underneath itself. [/DEMO] Untying it is also simple. [DEMO/] Just pull the loop and then pull the end out [/DEMO] The key advantage that the sheet bend has over the square knot is when tying two ropes of different thickness together. In many such cases, the sheet bend will be stronger.
The timber hitch can tie rope onto a log. Unlike the bowline, the loop created by the timber hitch can be adjusted. The more tension on the rope, the tighter the loop.[DEMO/] First, wrap the rope around the log, then around itself. Then just keep coiling it around itself for as long as you can. [/DEMO] The more rope you have to coil, the less likely the log will slip. If it is not tight enough, it may come out, but under tension, this knot will usually be fine. [DEMO] To untie, loosen the first loop and then uncoil the knot. [/DEMO]
These knots not should be used in life or death situations (unless you have no other choice) because they all have weaknesses. There are knots that are better suited for climbing and other dangerous situations. However, these are fine for everyday uses, as long as the consequences of a problem aren't all that bad.
There are a lot more knots out there; these are just the ones I know. Some professions require intense knot training, such as fire fighting, but these five are really all you need for average everyday things.

comments are welcome